England's Friends
by Missingno.Gold
Summary: Some people said that England had no friends. That wasn't necessarily true.England had plenty of friends. He just didn't like any of them. Also, Poland. J
1. Chapter 1: America

**England's Friends**

**A/N: I decided to write another story for some reason… Yay… Also, Hungary and Poland are gossiping buddies. Yeah. ^J^**

***These are England's thoughts, and I do not condone them in any way***

**Chapter 1: America**

Some people said that England didn't have any friends. This, of course, wasn't true. England had lots of friends. He just didn't like any of them.

First was America. He used to love America more than anything, as a brother, as a son, as a friend. He _used_ to love America. Now, not so much. He would follow England around, laughing for no reason and butting into conversations he wasn't wanted in. He was idiotic as well. Not loveably idiotic, but the kind that makes one want to punch something. There was nothing the blonde hated more than stupid people, and he tried to subtly make this clear. Unfortunately, it didn't work. America could never understand subtle.

He had fond memories of the self-proclaimed hero. Of everyone he knew, actually. But these had hurt the most, still hurt the most, although he was quite glad to be rid of him. It wasn't because he _liked _his ex-colony, quite the opposite actually. It was pride mostly, pride that made him feel insulted that the country he had raised decided to leave him.

And now? They were friends. Supposedly, friends. England wasn't sure why everything America did annoyed him more than when anyone else did the same. But he did know one thing. He would have to get rid of him. England couldn't stand it anymore.

The fairies agreed. They were fed up as well and would willingly help out. England was grateful.

America was too irritating. So England let him pass on.

"Hey! Did you hear?"

"Hear? Hear what?"

"Well, don't tell anyone I told you, but…"

Hungary leaned in to whisper into Poland's ear. Well, as well as she could over the phone. Wait, how did that chair-

"OWW!"

"Did you, like, fall over?" asked Poland, not sounding particularly worried. To be fair, she did that a lot.

"Whatever," she said huffily. "I was _going _to say that America has disappeared. No-one's seen him for weeks."

"America's disappeared?! How? Where? What? Who? Why?"

"Well, if we _knew _all these things, he wouldn't be very disappeared now, would he?"

"Like, maybe?"

"No."

"Oh."

"Back on topic, everyone is really worried. Especially that one guy. You know, the one with the… hair. Yeah. And the, the, um, the bear. Yes. The bear."

"China?"

"No. The other one. Um… The one with the maple leaves."

"Ohh… Like, that one guy. Egypt!"

"That doesn't even make any-"

Hungary tripped over a chair.

**Meanwhile…**

Somewhere, far, far away.

"Where am I? Why aren't there any hamburgers here? I WANT FOOOD!"

Something handed him a plate.

"I hate crumpets!"


	2. Chapter 2: Aftermath

**England's Friends**

**A/N: So I managed to update relatively soon. Hurrah! Updates may be rather erratic, as I have exams to revise for.**

**Sorry for the PrussiaxSpain. I don't even know where that came from… Promise.**

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed!**

***These are England's thoughts, and I do not condone them in any way. Bubble tea is actually quite nice.***

**Chapter 2: Aftermath**

England was absolutely exhausted. He had been visited by many anxious people, not so much out of charity to him, but to see if he knew anything that would lead them to America. He was glad to say he didn't. The fairies had taken care of that.

The last visitor was Japan. England might not have minded socialising with him normally – he was quiet and polite and appreciated tea almost as much as the blonde himself. Although, the less said about its bubbled form the better. Unfortunately, they had spent the entire time discussing America's possible whereabouts, which, to be quite honest, England couldn't care less about. Still, at least he was civil. Unlike a certain other nation…

That was enough. He didn't want to get irritated now. He needed to wait a while before anyone else mysteriously disappeared, just in case someone became suspicious.

Japan was on his way home, having just left England's house. The poor man had seemed distracted. He must have been distraught. His own brother, disappeared. Japan didn't know what he'd do if someone close to him vanished. Well, technically that was a lie. He was doing it right now.

"We will find you, America-san. And then we will all live happily ever after and there will be lots of yaoi and fluffy kittens and-" Japan was getting ahead of himself. "Shut up, self," he whispered.

The passer-by watched and stared as the short, serious-looking young man strode briskly down the street, muttering to himself about cats.

"Spain! Spain! Why aren't you listening to me? Spaaiiiiiin!"

Why wouldn't the irritating voice just go away? Spain was _trying_ to be creative. He sighed. Seeing as his attempts at making a sculpture of a tomato wasn't working, ("It is the most wonderful idea!" he had told an uncaring Romano, "A sculpture of a tomato, but made out of lots of little tomatoes! Brilliant, no?") he might as well let his friend in. Prussia had been standing outside his door for almost two hours, and it was clear that he would spent the week there if he had to.

"Prussia. How are you?" Spain asked unenthusiastically.

He was treated by a loud wail from the Prussian.

"WHY HAVEN'T YOU BEEN ANSWERING ANY OF MY AWESOME SELF'S CALLS?!"

"You have not called me, as far as I can tell. Only this incredibly irritating man called 'Number Not Identified' who keeps trying to sell me double glazing. I haven't answered the phone all week because of that man."

Prussia face palmed. And then proceeded to bring his face as close as possible to the other man's.

"Do you love me?"

Spain closed the door. His friend was clearly insane. That or he'd had chocolate this morning.

As he reached his room, his phone began to ring.

"Hey! Spain! Did something happen?"

Spain didn't answer.

"OK, well I was going to say that there's a party at England's house tonight."

"England? He isn't one for that sort of thing."

"No, he isn't!"

"Oh, it's one of _those_ parties… Well, I'll be there."

"Bye, Spain. Love you!"

"So, why are you, here?"

"That comma was completely unnecessary."

"Like, shut up."

"Do you not know any other words? Anyway, there's going to be a party at England's house, just a small affair with some close friends. Coming?"

"Sure. I'll come. But your idea of small generally means, well, how do I put this? Anything but, small."

"Once again, completely unnecessary comma. But this one actually is small – Us, England, the BTT, Denmark and Japan."

"Japan?"

"Well, England is rather fond of him. He'll be more likely to let us in."

"Oh, like, it's one of those parties.

"Why the hell're you here?" asked an incredibly irritated England.

"For the awesome party you invited us to."

"Go away."

Hungary pushed Japan forwards. "Work your magic, sweetie," she whispered.

"Um…" England found himself face to face with a slightly embarrassed and very apprehensive Japan. "England-san. How are you feeling? We are all very sorry to intrude, but we thought that you had seemed a bit down since America-san, well, disappeared, and we thought that a party would cheer you up, so…"

"Well, you can come in," he said. "But only because you asked so nicely."

"Yeah!" this came from Prussia, and requires approximately seventeen exclamation marks to fully express his awesomeness. Let us try that again, shall we?

"Yeah!" screamed Prussia.

This was an impromptu party, so Hungary, searching through the drawers for anything to get people in the mood, Denmark and Prussia, searching for beer, and France, searching for the meaning of life, found that dearest England was rather low on supplies. Spain, Japan and Poland, however, found exactly what they were looking for.

"Hah! I didn't know he still had these!"

Hungary had to escort the nations out of the house while Japan, apologising profusely, stopped England from stabbing Spain repeatedly with an old and rusty rapier.

The night air was cold and frosty, made even more so by the cold metal boxes Denmark was hiding under his shirt. He wondered how much the others would pay to find out what was in there.


End file.
